Tuesday, June 20, 2006

taste

This post grows out of my explorations in The Artists Way. Gaining a sense of identity (chapter 2) and gaining a sense of power (chapter 3) are both challenges to me. She keeps pushing the reader to care for her Self, for her artist instead of always caring for other people.

As I pay more attention to my own happiness, I discover that there are little glimmers of dreams and desires -- something I've denied myself for a long time. These past years have drained me. I am shut down in so many ways. I have lost my ability to hope.

I love Oprah's quote: "Your life is speaking to you all the time. What is it trying to tell you?" Julia Cameron gives a similar challenge to just "...pay attention this week to anything that you notice." When I was on the treadmill at the gym I saw Michael Chiarello's cooking program. His approach to food is so sensual and bold and creative and fun. I used to bake in fine restaurants, so I have a sense of the territory. The show reminded me of better times, like when I lived for two years in the south of France, and even earlier, when I apprenticed with a great pastry chef. That part of me wants to be alive again. I want to shop in fresh markets and buy fresh flowers. I want to find amazing food combinations and enjoy them with friends. So I sat down and challenged myself to think of some of the special and sensual flavors that my self, my ARTIST has enjoyed in the past. It made me both happy and sad at the same time.
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11 Comments:

Anonymous Joan said...

Caroline,
I love this entry. I can relate to a lot of what you say, especially the part about losing yourself when you take care of others. The fig drawing is precious. Keep searching!

6:30 PM  
Blogger Cin said...

your rememberance drawings have me remembering too, just this kind of fresh simple food that I love, just those little things, fresh mint! basil! that make such a difference in taste, hmmmmm, what a great idea to savor these again with your drawings, thank you!

6:45 PM  
Blogger Kelly L. Watson said...

ditto to cin's comment! I have such issues with food, and it is so rare that i sit down to savor something. Usually the best tastes are the simplest - rasberries picked off the side of the road, black bean hummus, a few bites of tiramisu...

9:30 AM  
Blogger Potato Print said...

Cin and Melissa,
Thanks for the comments. I'm happy that your artistic self resonated with the drawings. It actually was quite a powerful exercise for me.

9:47 AM  
Blogger Endment said...

Oh you have touched on so many parts of nurturing self --- I really relate to being so drained that you are unable to hope...
Wish - well - if I could - I would plant a bush of hope for you in my garden and it would grow like the basil, tomatoes, thyme, sage and all those wonderful nurturing things :)

10:37 AM  
Blogger Potato Print said...

Endment, Your wish made me so "emotional" -- to use a girlish euphemism. Let's just say that you will plant an invisible bush of hope in your garden. I will feel better knowing that it is there. I'm going to delve into your blog to try to piece together your story. I'm intrigued that you know what I mean about losing hope.

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